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Exclusive - the IP hone 5 operators in the UK revealed

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Which companies are best at tweaking IP performance? Watch this space as we reveal the quintet of the best companies at fine tuning Internet Protocol - dubbed the IP hone 5.

There are many questions I'd love to ask when I attend IP Expo on October 19th. But sadly, every stall will be manned by a salesman, and they're not the world's greatest listeners. They tend to be one way broadcasters. In networking terms they're great at handshaking, but only half duplex communicators.

Typically, you go to an event like this with a list of questions. Such as: 

Communications service providers long for someone to optimise IP service performance. Why has no one done it? What are the consequences of IP's inconsistency?

Who is tackling the problem? What does it involve? What needs to be done?

What tools are available? How good are they? What tools are now available to look deep within an IP network at the performance of IP services? And how can CSPs speed up problem solving for subscribers? 

And without fail, they answer it like this:

"We are the world's leading paradigm shifter... truly unique.... having conversations with brands...."

Will IP Expo be any different?





The great margin mystery. How does ChaCha answer any question for 10p?

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Britain's mobile operators aren't always as creative as they might be when it comes to making money out of existing services. They fret about 'delivering OT content' when they already have services that go unexploited.

Text information services are a case in point. Up until now the market's been dominated by two players, TextPerts and AQA. The latter charges £1 for every question it answers by text. The latter charges £1.50! Well, it is owned by the men with moustaches.

Now a new entrant has entered the market. ChaCha charge 'the standard rate for texts' (I've always wondered what that is) which, in their case, comes to around 10 to 12 pence per query.

To test them, I texted them three queries of varying difficulty, and to their credit they answered in minutes. 

'What is a Croydon Facelift?' came back almost immediately. 

How on earth do they make money though? Even if they bought some impossibly cheap minutes, the margins on each transaction must be pretty slim.

They claim to have 60,000 highly-trained human fact finders - and highly trained people don't come cheap (unless, of course, they're exaggerating that bit).

There are no adverts on each text that I could see, so how are they doing it? Are they selling details about our queries? 

TEST: HOW THEY PERFORMED

We tested ChaCha's speed and professionalism with these questions:

1. If we all held up a mirror and directed the sun's rays in one direction, could we fry Piers Morgan like an ant?

2. How much power, on average, does a Cornish wind turbine generate?

3. What is a Croydon Facelift?

Answers 1 and 3 were provided within a minute. Answer 2, which was trickier, only took slightly longer (but was obviously taken from standard  figures for wind turbines, so was effectively meaningless, arguably)

Still, for 10p a question, it's not bad. Have you tried AQA or TextPerts recently?

Nine out of ten city CIOs on course for prosecution by FSA

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Over 90 per cent of city firms could face prosecution in November for failing to comply with new FSA regulations on call recording, according to one study. 
 
With November's deadline for meeting the Financial Services Authority's new rules on call recording looming ever closer, a survey has shown that 91 per cent of chief information officers (CIOs) have yet to begin their installation process.

With mobile call recording system installations taking an average six months to implement, many city based CIOs could face prosecution at Christmas.

The study, conducted by mobile operator Tru and service provider Obsidian Wireless was conducted in July among 100 CIOs in the City of London.

Of the CIOs quizzed, only 9 per cent of companies have a compliant solution in place. However, 70 per cent have not even started a project and admitted they were still undecided on how to comply with the regulation.

Those surveyed gave three main reasons for failure to act - too many types of handset, too much delay involved in recording and too little compatibility between systems. 

Telco analyst Jeffrey Peel, MD of Quadriga Consulting, said CIos haven't taken the challenge seriously. 

"The FSA can impose fines and has done so in the past where lack of recording was considered a major issue in dispute cases," said Peel. "Most companies have been aware for some time that the FSA would be making this requirement."

The financial services needs a solution which is seamless to use, is rapid to deploy and which works across all GSM handsets, argued Geraldine Wilson, CEO of Tru. She claimed Tru and Obsidian is "solving the headache of FSA compliance."

Tech Entrepreneurs Week - how you could win fifty grand for your start up

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Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales is to be the head of the Head of Jury in December's Tech Entrepreneurs Week. He's giving a speech too.

But that's not why I'll be on the edge of my seat. I won't listen to a word of his speech. Even if it was a mixture of Cicero and Martin Luther King delivering the Gettysburg address. 

I will be there, along with a few others in the know, to find out if my tech start up idea has impressed the judges and won me 50,000 of venture capital backing.? ?

As for the speech: Jimmy Wales said he's looking forward to sharing his experiences as an entrepreneur. Which could be brilliant. 

But more than likely, it'll be incredibly dull. The problem with these events is they never tell you anything you want to know. All the gory bits will be edited out of his story.There will be no blood and thunder accounts of his battles with rivals, partners and his own demons. All drama is driven by conflict, but you can bet any conflict will be edited out. In favour of 'engaging content.'

Please god I hope I'm wrong. I'm going to go anyway, just in case. 

I've had a look at the rest of the press release and there's nothing interesting to report. 

But here's the story. Sign up for Tech Entrepreneurs and you could get fifty grand if your technology start up story impresses the judges. (Don't be shy - it won't be any worse than the speeches, believe me). 

The winner will be announced at Tech Entrepreneurs Week which will be held in London 5th - 9th December 2011. 

Omnisense geopositions everything - can pinpoint a randy cow with military precision

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omnisense-cows.jpegIt's one of the tragedies of the modern technological age. Each new invention is ruined by somebody trying  to turn it into a marketing tool.

There are other ways of monetizing scientific breakthroughs. What's wrong with good old fashioned porn? That's what they did in my day!

But oh no, the marketing directors of the world won't be satisfied until every last moment of our lives is interrupted by some trying to 'engage' us, in a 'compelling conversation with a brand'.

So hats off to the boffins at Cambridge based Omnisense, inventor of a new type of positioning technology. Unlike the GPS crowd, who seem intent on adding another dimension onto our positional data so that marketing managers can target adverts at you, Omnisense seems to want to benefit society.

Omnisense's geo spatial technology uses devices that talk to each other and then, by calculating their relative position, create their own map of where everyone or everything is. So it can work in buildings is more accurate and penetrative than both consumer-grade GPS and RFID.

If a team of fire fighters used it, it would take all the guesswork out of knowing where a missing team member might be. "For the same reason, the Army, who are seeking local positioning alternatives to GPS (which is easy to jam), could use it to to find missing soldiers.

It could be used to spot a good milker too. In Dairy Farming, it's vital to identify where a cow is in her estrogen cycle. If she is ready to mate, her movements become much more marked.

Analysis of Omnisense's tracking system could bring this to the farmer's attention immediately and he could get the cow knocked up in no time. End result: cows mate more time efficiently and are milking with minimal delay.

In all three cases, Omnisense is helping society by pinpointing where we are - either in a smoking building or on our estrogen cycle. And it isn't using technology to worsen people's lives through aggressive marketing.

So hats off to CEO Andy Thurman.

If you want to find a randy cow, or a fallen comrade, you need Omnisense. It's s selling starter Evaluation Kits from the end of September (see web Site or details)."

Why make a mobile app? You won't get rich but you might impress

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domjoly_oli.jpgKeep quiet about this - it's an industry secret - but some IT companies can be a bit dull to work for. But how do you move up the ladder?

If your current job leaves you creatively unfulfilled, and you want something impressive to put on your Linkedin profile, why not create a mobile app? You'll never get rich, but it'll impress future headhunters or clients.

We asked Oli Christie (left with comic Dom Joly), CEO of mobile games studio Neon Play for his 10 top tips on creating your own successful mobile game. As a quid pro quo, I should mention that, with over 23 million downloads and seven UK number 1 games, Neon Play is the top independent mobile games studio in the UK. Neon also developed a game for Dom Joly. 

1.  Have a cracking, unique idea. Everyone always says they have a "great idea for a game", but there are 500,000 apps to compete with, so it's not that easy to find one that's never been done before.

2.  Keep it simple. Games like Doodle Jump are very easy to play, but a challenge to master. That is the mantra you should follow for a successful game. 

3.  Do your research. Chances are that your amazing game idea has already been done, so have a look at the App Store and see if there's something similar. If there is, go back to the drawing board or find an interesting different angle.

4.  Don't quit your day job. Only a tiny percentage of apps make a profit. You will not be the next Angry Birds, so manage your expectations. If it succeeds, then quit. Focus on Apple first and Android later.

5.  Talent required. You need a designer and a developer as a bare minimum. If that's not you, ask your mates, go online, but find the best you can afford. Maybe do a rev share. Or programs like Game Salad make it possible to make your own game.

6.  Test, learn and refine. Get as many friends and family to play the game. Don't say a word and watch them play it and see if they get it and which bits they don't. Don't take feedback personally, but change the game where necessary. Playability and fun is key.

7.  Set your price. Do you charge a flat rate 69p for your game? Or go free with advertising? Or the most profitable way is "freemium", which is a free game with features in the game that players buy to enhance their gaming experience. Kerching.

8.  Standing out from the crowd. With hundreds of new apps being released every day, you need to get promotion for your app. So find an interesting news angle, get some PR, use Facebook and Twitter, plus do a promo video for YouTube. Every little helps.

9.  Review sites. Send your game to all the major app review sites and journalists. You get 50 free promo codes from Apple (so they can play the game without paying for it). Good reviews and a high star rating help sales.

10. Listen and learn. Get feedback, fix bugs, do updates. As your fan base grows and you earn more revenue, do a bit more research into other ways to earn money. There is huge potential to earn big bucks, but do not underestimate that it is very, very hard.

PR Masterclass: the 10 phone calls every PR must make

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Thumbnail image for condescending businessman comstock.jpgIn the latest instalment of his PR MasterClass, Gavin Bird, CEO of Condescentii Digital, reminds us that this is a people business.

Journalists, bless them, couldn't function without PR. That's why they sit by their phones all day, waiting for you to call them.

You should never leave a journalist alone with his thoughts, he's likely to get depressed. (Look at me! I'm assuming it will be a man. These days, it could be a lady!)

I tell my staff to phone each journalist ten times a day. But each call has to be different, or the hack is likely to throw one of his (or her!) hissy fits.

Yes, I know what you're thinking: precious so and sos aren't they? Well yes, but's that's the PR man's burden. Just think about the swimming pool, the car and the pesonal helicopter.

Remember, every call you make is 'content'. And what does content have to be? That's right, compelling and engaging!

So here's my list of ten engaging calls you MUST make to any journalist.

1. Hello, I'm not disturbing you am I?

2. I know this isn't quite what you're looking for but...

3. Which publication was this for again?

4. I forgot to ask, but what's your deadline?

5. My client isn't around, but can I give you an old press release? You can have it as an exclusive!

6. When is this going to appear?

It's important to let the client know when their coverage is appearing. Any journalist will be delighted to interrupt what they are doing to help your company's internal admin processes.

7. You've asked me to send a picture. What sort?

8. My client doesn't have a headshot. Wasn't the picture of the XB675 Blade Server good enough?

9. What is high resolution? And what's a jpeg?

10. Hello? I hope you pick this message up. My client is unable to help you and I'm going home now.

There we have it. Those ten calls should get you through any PR journalist engagement, and leave the journalist feeling thoroughly compelled and contented.

There's just one phone call to make now.

"Hello, I'm not disturbing you am I? Can you tell me why you didn't use our press release?"

iPhone users are most dangerous behind the wheel says survey

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In a survey conducted last week, this column uncovered the truth about iPhone users; they make the worst drivers.

The survey was conducted on two separate occasions on the same stretch of road.

Cycling against the traffic, from Chobham to Kingston in Surrey, researchers counted the number of motorists who were driving while consulting their mobile phones.

80 per cent of those who took their eyes off the road to look at their smartphone were iPhone owners.

The other one (20 per cent) looked like a Blackberry user. You know the type.

The results didn't surprise me, who conducted the bicycle based research. 

"IPhone users are a menace on the road, and should pay extra road tax," I said, before calling on the government to act. "I call on the government to act," I said.

PR Masterclass: how to write engaging content

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Gavin Bird is digital engagement director for Condescentii PR. Like many public relations executives who've been in the business for more than six months, he's sick and tired of journalists.

So, to cheer him up, we asked him for an independent review of a new mobile storage gadget, which is a mega-fast portable hard drive that backs itself up on the cloud. It's got clever software tools that can sort all your files, so you won't waste your life wading through picture files saved as Pic000001.jpg.

They're a strange breed, hacks, writes Gavin Bird. digital engagement director for Condescentii PR. I can phone the same journalist up 10 times a day and get 10 different reactions. They start off being nice and very polite. But by call three they get tetchy. With call four it's a rather terse 'can you get to the point'. When I ring them again two minutes later and ask how they are, they'll cut me dead with the old chestnut of 'I'm on a deadline'.

Well perhaps if they spent more time working and less time chatting, they wouldn't be so stressed! Let me tell you about stress. Stress is a stackable hub client who has paid you 10 grand a month and expects to be on the front page of the FT.

Bloody journalists.

By phone call seven they're suddenly very short with me, asking me to 'put it in an email'. But when I cut and paste the press release into an email, and add a ten page PDF, do I get a return call? Do I coco!

My tenth call goes straight to voicemail.

Well, hello? A professional would show a bit of consistency. Those are the values we associate with a brand.

A journalist could learn a lot about consistency if he spent a day at Condescentii PR. At Condescentii we always use the same template for every press release.

We used the same font (raNDoM MIxED uPpEr lOWer case). We use the same 'key phrases'. We Always Capitalise Everything, for added gravitas. And liberally sprinkle the Trademark Symbol and Copyright.

The only thing that changes is the headline. This is important, as it beckons the reader in; it has to be engaging content.

Let's take the example of a portable hard drive.

This gadget is fast and convenient, it's got massive capacity and clever software that turns hours of admin into a few clicks of a mouse.

So.... What could be a fitting headline that tells that story in an engaging way?

GadgetCo Delivers Interface: USB 3.0 Compliant, USB 2.0 Compatible with Connector Combination USB 3.0, 9-pin Micro-B Socket/USB 2.0, 5-pin Micro-B Socket Data Transfer Rate: USB 3.0: up to 5 Gbit/sec.

Now that's what I call engaging!

Tomorrow, in Part 2 of my PR Masterclass, I will show you how to keep the reader gripped with Engaging Content ™

Photo courtesy: Comstock/Thinkstock

Gigaset - a hands free phone without the earache.

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I don't know about you, but I hate wearing headsets and those ghastly ear things. There must be a nice way to be handsfree.

Gigaset has just released the latest handsfree home phone, the Gigaset L410.

Unlike an ungainly headset, the L410 does not attach to the ear but is simply clipped to clothing and, weighing just 30 grams, is hardly noticeable, meaning you no longer have to compromise on style.

They could have made it a bit more stylish though. Why not make them in nicer colours? Or in the shape of a brooch or something. Surely a nice pink flower brooch style handsfree gadget would accessorise any outfit!

The end result is that users are able to take care of other tasks in the kitchen whilst simultaneously making a call - whether that's loading the dishwasher, making a coffee or simply cooking.

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