April 2011 Archives

Apple overtakes Microsoft on revenue and profit

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A landmark of sorts was reached this month when Apple overtook Microsoft in terms of revenue and profits in the respective companies' most recent quarterly financial results. The difference in the figures from a revenue perspective are quite spectacular. Apple reported sales of $24.67bn compared to Microsoft's figure of just under $16.43bn. On a profit basis, Apple achieved $5.99bn compared to Microsoft's $5.23bn.

On one level, this isn't bad news for Microsoft in that profit as a percentage of revenue is 31.8%, higher than Apple's figure of just under 24.3%. As a hardware and software vendor, however, it's no surprise Apple's margin is lower but what is interesting is that its revenues grew a whopping 82.7% on the corresponding quarter in 2010 and profits rose even more, by 95%. Against those types of numbers, Microsoft's fairly healthy 13% revenue increase and 31 per cent profit rise appear pretty puny.

No prizes for guessing the areas where Apple is outgunning Microsoft: smartphones with the iPhone and, latterly, tablets with the iPad. In a market where traditional PC sales are slowing (Windows revenue was down slightly on last year), Apple's results merely serve to emphasise the point that Microsoft needs to get into the smartphone and tablet games and do so in a convincing manner.

There's more to IT projects than cutting costs

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Interesting to see that cost-cutting has slipped down the agenda when it comes to investing in IT, at least according to the Pearlfinders Q1 Technology Index. The Index, which monitors trends and opinions in the IT world, says cost-cutting is now the lowest priority.

While customers still look for technology to deliver efficiency, supporting growth is now the highest requirement. Of course, the phrase "deliver efficiency" can have fairly chilling overtones for some as it does tend to result in costs (and jobs) being cut but the emphasis on growth is welcome.

Unsurprisingly, cloud computing was the most in demand technology, leapfrogging virtualisation. This may account for the slight shift in tone from decision-makers investing in IT projects as, according to a recent Cloud Industry Forum, cost-cutting was not the primary cited by users using or looking at cloud computing. The biggest factor was actually "flexibility".

While I don't think we're mucking about with semantics here, it's probably fair to say that without a cost case lurking in the background, none of these technologies or projects would get off the ground. In other words, it's probably still there but people aren't talking about it as loudly as before.

A planted question: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (14)

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A very sober roundtable discussion at Networks 95 was hijacked by a particularly earnest reseller only too keen to raise a number of topics close to his heart.

Just as he was winding up to ask yet another arcane question about something network-related, another member of the audience put his hand up to ask a question.

The relieved panel were only too happy for the microphone to be directed across the hall to the new inquisitor.

"Er, I have a small garden with lime soil - oh sorry, wrong question time."


Screen saver blues for Dixons: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (13)

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A Scope staffer was taking a wander around the Dixons in Heathrow Airport back in 2002, marvelling at all the wonderful electronic gadgets for sale.

Settling his gaze on a laptop, our man's eyes were drawn to the screen saver message scrolling across the display in big, bold red letters.

The message read: "Dixons are shite."

Location, location, location: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (12)

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Last week we recounted the story about the poor people working at Wang's offices in Cologne who had to answer the phone with the following words: "Wang - Cologne."

But Wang wasn't the only company with a name that suffered from unfortunate juxtaposition with other words. Back in the late 90s, staff at the Siemens office near Heathrow refused to swallow an attempt by their management to adopt a similar policy of answering the phone with the company name and location.

You can understand their reluctance when you realise their office was in Staines.

Angels swoon over Roll's sausage role play: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (11)

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Back in 1995, then Microsoft Office product manager Oliver Roll was making a presentation to top executives at London temping agency Office Angels. 

In a bid to keep things interesting, Olly had decided to incorporate a number of costume changes in the session ranging from corporate salesman to Postman Pat to a member of the Starship Enterprise crew.

But as Olly made one of his changes behind the projection screen, he gave the assembled audience a view of a little bit more than just Microsoft's product roadmap. Not to beat about the bush, he also flashed his sausage roll.

Audience reaction was divided. One Angel described the presentation as "amazing, we're definitely being given four for the price of one here". But another colleague was less impressed: "That's the worst bundle I've ever seen, no wonder they call them shrink wrapped packages."

Thankfully, the experience did not cause Olly's spirits to droop but only served to stiffen his resolve and he has since risen to the heights of Microsoft's worldwide PR general manager.

Times were hard back then: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (10)

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If you think times are tough now in the computing industry, you should have seen it in the early days. 

Think of the poor managing director of a failed company spotted in conference with five burly representatives of an aggrieved component supplier who seemed to think he would benefit from repeated close inspection of the surface of his desk with his face.

Then there's the story of the staffer at Ashton-Tate who was called into the office of his senior manager for a conference.

"I hear you want a word with me," he said to the man seated behind the desk. "Fire away."

"Got it in one," replied his boss.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, IBM salesman: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (9)

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Back in the days of the cold war, two IBMers in Moscow on business got into a conversation about espionage. "I'd be careful if I were you," said the first one, "your hotel room is liable to be bugged."

After imbibing quite a few vodkas, the pair retired to their respective rooms on the second and third floors. Inspired by the fiery potato spirit, the man on the third floor decided it would be a good idea to try and find the bug in his room. 

After much searching, he discovered what looked like a listening device in the floor. Demonstrating much more initiative than was usually encouraged in IBMers in those days, he unscrewed the gizmo and wrenched it out before passing out himself.

The next morning, he told his fellow IBMer about his discovery and asked him if he'd found anything in this room.

"No," his colleague replied, "but in the middle of the night, the chandelier suddenly fell on top of me."

A nasty blow in foreign climes: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (8)

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A foreign junket paid for by a favourite vendor was always a welcome diversion for hard-working resellers back in the 90s. It still is, even now, but such trips are far fewer than they used to be.

It was on one such junket to Amsterdam on a tour of the city's infamous red light district that a staff member at one of the UK's top ten dealerships fell victim to the charms of a 'lady of the night'.

Common decency forbids us from offering a blow by blow description of what happened next, but suffice to say that the poor man received something of a shock when the lady asked if he might like to return the compliment and hitched up her skirt to reveal that 'she' was actually...well, you can guess the rest.

Bottoms up or you're out: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (7)

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It wasn't that long ago that the PC business wasn't exactly PC. And it was back in those times that this story occured. 

A certain gentleman working at a mail order operation was sacked. What for? The owner's sister didn't like his bum.

As one wag observed at the time: "I suppose his bottom dropped out of the market."

When the wheels fall off a presentation: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (6)

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MicroScope has featured a number of cautionary tales over the years concerning customer presentations. There was the instance of the belt and braces IT salesman who went to the loo just before making a presentation to a bunch of customers. Halfway during the meeting, people began to notice a very unpleasant smell. The salesman was mortified to discover upon looking over his shoulder that when he had unhitched his braces to sit on the loo, they had fallen into the bowl and become smeared in the brown stuff.

Any road, perhaps the most entertaining example comes from 1998 when Yuri Pasea, director of Kerridge Network Systems, was giving a passionate video conferencing pitch to a client. He ended by slamming his hands down on the conference table saying:  "What we all want is to get these horrible cars off the road."

There was a stunned silence. Pasea realised, with horror, that he was pitching to a car manufacturer.


The name's the thing: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (5)

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Over the years, MicroScope has found that company names (and product names for that matter) can be problematic. Perhaps the most high profile example of this was minicomputer manufacturer Wang which found the unfortunate juxtaposition of its name with certain other words made it the subject of schoolboy sniggers on this side of the Atlantic on a number of occasions.

For example, there was the time it launched its maintenance package: WangCare.

Or, as we reported back in 1998, the company practice of having employees answer the phone with the company name and their location, for example: "Wang - Milton Keynes." This may explain rumours of the high volume of calls from the UK to Wang's German office. In Cologne.

When IT was a world of sex and alcohol: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (4)

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People like to say the Germans have no sense of humour, but Soap has recorded proof to the contrary. Back in 1987, microcomputer manufacturer Altos Computer Systems (remember Altos?) sent a telex (remember them?) to its German operation asking for a headcount of employees broken down by sex.

It didn't have to wait long for a reply. A telex came speeding back from the subsidiary announcing that it had no people broken down by sex but there were some broken down by alcohol.

Mr Bean's Unisys Drop Box: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (3)

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When it comes to demonstrating a product's capabilities, nothing can beat showing people something working right in front of their eyes instead of relying on presenting it on a slide or a video.

Back in 1992, Unisys product marketing manager Stephen Bean had his own method of demonstrating just how robust the company's products were to potential clients. His party piece was to pick a PC off the production line and drop it on the floor in front of them.

Remarkably, the machines remained intact. It was only after Bean had repeated the trick a few times that someone from the production line took him aside to quietly explain that although Unisys had no problem with someone dropping its machines in the interests of a quick sale, it was policy to ensure they were packed in their boxes beforehand.

Whatever the merits of Bean's approach, it didn't seem to have the desired effect. Six years later, Unisys stopped manufacturing PCs.

When the supplies run dry: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (2)

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People in the channel can be pretty sharp and quick-witted when they want to be. This story, from 1995, is a perfect example:

Back in the days when Compaq was battling with Dell to be the largest PC supplier in the world, the company found itself struggling with product shortages. At a meeting with its distributors to discuss the issue, one of its partners suggested Compaq might like to copy the beer companies with its branding approach.

"You mean like Budweiser: American, tough and stylish?," asked the man from Compaq.

"No," retorted the distributor, "like Guinness. People are used to having to wait for that as well."

Make 'em laugh: 28 years of MicroScope funnies (1)

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The news that MicroScope is to stop producing a print edition from the end of this month (while continuing as a digital and online magazine) is a good excuse for a bit of nostalgia. As someone who spent 11 years working on Scope in the 90s and early noughties (and was there for the 10th, 15th and 20th anniversary issues), I have very fond memories of the title.

In addition to breaking some terrific news stories over the years, we also produced some very funny stories in the Soap section. Back in 1996, for instance, when Olivetti still made PCs, we printed this gem:

Things seem to be going from bad to worse for the Olivetti PC company. An informant tells us the following story: "A company where I'd installed some Apple gear, which also had a couple of Olivetti PCs for the secretaries to use, called me to say it had been the victim of a robbery. I went down there and found all the machines had been taken away.

"What about the Olivettis?," we asked him.

"Oh," he replied, "the thieves used them to prop the doors open."

No surprise then that Olivetti sold its PC business a year later. 

As far as we know, it never went into the door stop business, but it has returned to the PC business in Italy and Switzerland and just last month, it launched the OliPad tablet computer. We don't know what it's like, but the acid test will surely come when thieves hit a company that has iPads and OliPads in the office.

Making a mountain where there might not be a mole

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Have you heard about the Google mole in Twitter? There's a load of stories about it. A quick search on Google News today (8 April) brought up 15 versions of the story.

Given the number of references to the story, you would expect there to be some pretty convincing proof, but actually, it appears to be mainly conjecture. Apparently, someone heard that Twitter was thinking of poaching two Google executives but even before it had a chance to make an approach, Google offered them both huge pay rises to stay.

Does this demonstrate there's a mole giving Google information about Twitter's recruitment strategy or that Google is merely ensuring that the people it wants to keep are given the motivation to stay?

The very cynical among us might think that if there was a mole in Twitter, their motivation might be to get Google to pay people a lot more money and increase their wage bill rather than actually seeking to recruit someone.

It almost makes me wish I was working for Google myself. If I was, I think I might get my own 'mole' to let someone in the company know I was being poached by a rival and wait for the big bucks to roll in.

Are mobile manners going down the toilet?

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This shouldn't really come as a surprise to us males but a survey by Carphone Warehouse has revealed that just half of all men access the internet on their mobile phone while on the toilet. According to a report in The Mirror, while a significant number of men chose the toilet to access the Internet, most women (72%) preferred to do it in bed.

The males among us will recognise the validity of the report's findings from the fairly common experience of standing next to someone in the urinals who is talking into a headset while he relieves himself. That said, reading stuff on the Internet on your mobile phone while sitting down might not be so heinous a crime, probably more akin to reading the paper or a book.

Perhaps most disturbing is that 11% of those surveyed used mobile phones to find alternative entertainment while on a date.

Spear phisher nets $8m from Wired publisher

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If you wanted proof that security really is only as good as the awareness of the people working in your company, Conde Nast - publisher of Wired, Vogue, GQ, Glamour (and Ars Technica) - has the perfect example. 

According to Ars Technica, the company was the victim of a "spear-phisher" who netted $8m from the media giant. Posing as the company's printer, Quad/Graphics, he sent an email to Conde Nast's accounts payable department, with an electronic payment authorisation form, instructing it to send payments for the printer to a specified bank account.

Between 17 November and 30 December, Conde Nast transferred $8m to the account before the scam was uncovered when the real Quad/Graphics starting asking about outstanding payments.

Luckily for Conde Nast, none of the money had actually been taken out of the account and it was able to freeze the cash until it filed a forfeiture filing on 30 March seeking to get the funds back.

Last laugh on Google as researchers turn joke into reality

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Google works hard on its April Fool's jokes. This year, it unveiled something called Gmail Motion which allowed people to control their mail application using gestures, along with a video explaining how it worked.

But in an interesting twist, researchers at the University of Southern California's ICT MxR Lab, have come up with a way to turn the joke into reality based on a programme called SLOOW (Software Library Optimizing Obligatory Waving) and a hacked Microsoft Kinect. I like the line about them trying the Google programme but it not working. Anyway, it's worth a look. Who knows, this could be the mail of the future.

GoDaddy CEO under fire for shooting elephant

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We have all become wearingly familiar with the phrase "the elephant in the room", but Bob Parsons, CEO at domain and hosting provider GoDaddy has come up with a different take on it: "the elephant in the video", specifically the video he posted of him and a team of hunters shooting an elephant in Zimbabwe. Unlike its counterpart in the room (the one over there that you're ignoring right now), this one is getting a lot of attention.

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Condemnation has been swift from the likes of animal rights group PETA, while rival NameCheap.com has already launched a promotion for customers to transfer accounts with 20% of the proceeds going to SaveTheElephants.com. 

In an interview with mashable.com, Parsons sought to justify the shooting by claiming he was helping poor villagers to protect their crops from a herd of marauding elephants. While it's definitely the case elephants can damage villagers' crops, killing them might seem a rather extreme form of deterrence. 

"In Zimbabwe, the people there are incredibly impoverished," he told mashable.com. "They treasure an empty plastic water bottle. It's heart-wrenching to watch," adding that if the villagers had no crops to harvest, they would starve. But as some have pointed out, there are other ways of keeping elephants away from crops that don't involve killing them. And there are other ways Parsons could help the villagers out of their impoverished state other than shooting elephants.

He also neglects to say that one of the reasons elephants are coming into conflict with people and trampling crops is that humans have started to encroach on areas which, up until recently, were solely inhabited by wildlife which, when you think of it, is the elephant in the room.


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