Names have been changed to protect the guilty...
Somewhere in the Thames Valley, 05 October 2010 - In the first paragraph, DistiTech, the leading distributor of networking things, realised late Monday that the two other leading distributors of networking things had generated some press coverage by doing something slightly new, and wanted to get in on the act lest everyone suddenly forget who they are.
With nothing to announce, its marketing boss decided he might as well report excellent uptake of something, so asked around the account managers and found one of them had had a call from a reseller interested in VenDor's "Come and Poke" programme.
At this point we learn that the programme started in the past and will end some time in the future.
The programme gives VenDor resellers the opportunity to take some of VenDor's [Insert Serial Number Here] networking things and demonstrate them to their customers. This bit actually took five lines of 12 point Arial to explain, but it ultimately boils down to selling things that sit in a server room. Possibly servers.
The fact that any partner involved in the scheme already knows about the scheme and doesn't need press to tell them that it still exists was tactfully not mentioned at any point by the marketing guys.
Bob Bobson, who is in charge of selling VenDor kit at DistiTech, will now take another paragraph to explain exactly what we just said, but that needs saying again in quotation marks.
"We've had levels of uptake on the offer. Resellers seem to unaccountably really like selling things," he said. "We assume it is because they earn money, which can then be exchanged for goods, services, and the latest German saloon cars."
Everyone knows that VenDor sells servers, but the marketing guys will mention Gartner at this point. Gartner knows it too, and thinks they will sell more of them. Gartner, everybody.
DistiTech, which in the course of the last eight paragraphs has remained the leading distributor of networking things, would like to remind us that unlike the other leading distributors it is leading because its programme makes selling servers easier than the other distributors, where apparently the process is complex and upsetting.
For further information on the "Come and Poke" programme resellers should get in touch with their account manager at DistiTech. Which they already do. Every day. But they should do it more.
This was first published in October 2010