I felt so desperately sorry for this bloke on the train the other day.
He squeezed onto the train just before it left, so he obviously didn't notice he was on a quiet carriage. He was too busy in a life or death struggle with some closing doors, which he very nearly lost.
Once he'd got his breath back, he whipped out his mobile and starts shouting into it, oblivious to dudgeon of his fellow passengers. This being Britain nobody said anything. Half the carriage huffed, the other half tutted, but pretty soon, we all settled down to listen in to his conversation.
And what a belter it was. It seems that Mr Windy - "that's W-i-n-d-y, no, Y! Y! I said Y! Yankee! Y for Yankee? Oh, for goodness..." - was phoning a customer service helpline.
He was obviously being passed round the building, and having to explain himself all over again to every sales agent. "Mr Windy! That's W...".
We've all suffered this.
Then he had to give out his password. LoveTiger. Several times. Followed by details of his date of birth, which he tried to relay in a discrete whisper, but the call agent was having none of it. He looked mortified at giving out his age in public. Several times.
As well all do.
Then, his humiliation was complete as agent after agent made him explain the details of his complaint. They always sound so petty when you verbalise them in front of a crowd.
"I ordered a, er, personal domestic appliance - for the wife! As a birthday present!" he said. The second bit was for the carriage, not the call centre agent in Bangalore. "My - her - complaint is that the batteries run out in no time. I wonder if there's a fault. i say I wonder....
Nobody sympathised with this. They were too busy laughing.
What a pity Mr Windy didn't buy his goods from more reputable stores, where the service is always excellent.
As it would be, if his existing service provider was using Sostenuto CSM, from Chessington based Sunrise Software.
This is a customer service management solution which has been designed specifically to help service teams manage customer queries proactively and consistently.
Queries, cases, complaints, service requests and claims management can all be dealth with quicker than you can say Mind the Gap.
I said Mind the Gap. You know, Mind the Gap? Mike for Mike, I for India, N for November.... November! As in Guy Fawkes night!
Ohh, for Goodness sake!
This was first published in August 2011